He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Randomize
