do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
