I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
