She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
