Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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