Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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