I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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