i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
