I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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