I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
