he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
