Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
