I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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