I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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