I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
