She went from zero to smokin in five shots
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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