It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
