this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
