you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize