I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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