Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
