I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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