So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
