no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
