new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
