grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
