He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
