Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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