I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize