A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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