fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My dick has a subreddit
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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