I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
