Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize