Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
