i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
