her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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