i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
