I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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