it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This baby is an asshole
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
