I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
