Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
