I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
