Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
