i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
