I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
