To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
