Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
