You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
