Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
