I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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