Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
