i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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