Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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