Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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