Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
