we have officially lost it.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
