I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
