Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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