I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
