OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
